I don't study. I go into exam ritual mode. Everyone does, and there IS a pattern.
Look at all those people who have blogs but never use them. See how they start blogging whenever it's their finals? See? SEE?
But my exam ritual mode, or ERM for short, starts right here, at my computer.
ERM is as essential to doing a test comfortably as REM is to resting properly.
When I go into ERM, my entire timetable shifts. Two weeks prior to exam week, I notify all the friends I usually hang out with that my exams are coming. I don't tell them I'm studying, because that would be lying. I just say the truth; my exams are in a week, and I'm not allowed out. Or something..... like that, I don't know, ask my friends, they know what I tell them.
After that, I look for a secondary hobby, something I can convince myself of being tired of. Last year, AND this year, I found the perfect hobby to NOT do. Play round with my Xbox. You see, game developers somehow know when exam season is, so they don't release any new games around that time. Mostly.
I know that during exam season LAST year, my non gaming distraction didn't make me study more. It made me drive, drink, experiment, socialize, explore and blog more. Sometimes all at the same time, except blogging and driving at the same time. hmmmm...
maybe next time.
Anyway, my xbox gets the boot this time as well. I handed over the battery packs for the controllers to my sister for safekeeping and am now desperately looking for distractions.
So far, the most entertaining ones have been
1)watching Top Gear episodes for HOURS
2)playing Company of Heroes on my PC with the volume down
3)thinking about the Audi A4
4)reading webcomics
5)thinking about studying
See the improvement? No alcohol related activities on the list! Except maybe a little with no.3
I only studied an hour today. Less than that for the English test I had in the morning.
But that's the amazing thing about exams. Sometimes you go over the notes like a goddamn Nazi and the paper comes and asks you to just write your name down and then you realize you've forgotten to spell. Ok, that only happened ONCE, but the point is, why bother?
After watching about 25 hours worth of Top Gear, the only valid excuse for studying was to eventually own one of those magnificent cars. Then drive it around, until it got old, then get another.
And that's positive thinking. Honestly, I don't think cars that go 3 miles to the gallon are going to be THAT much fun to drive around.
so, that's not even a valid excuse anymore.
I don't know what is a valid excuse.
Argh.
Who cares about exams anyway.
Who cares if Jason Bieber grew his first pubic hair today? No one. Except maybe Usher.
Who cares about stuff anyway. Once you peak out of the box and realize that just by looking up you're looking at... forever
and that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration,
and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively,
and that there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream,
and we are the imagination of ourselves
exams do not mean a thing.
Four of those lines are stolen.
Not having a beard anymore means I've been kicked out of the Guevara fan club.
A true revolutionary does not allow the influence of a true bourgeoisie to overcome his ability to grow and keep his beard.
this graph shows how little it matters to be in the Guevara fan club in the first place.
Bam, I'm dead. Zombie Guevara has shot me for being a pseudocommie.
Is there a point to all this? I'd like to think so. I brought up the whole ERM thing didn't I?
I think we all have our own little ERMs. erm...
Mine must be the most exciting though. the standard deviation of my exam marks is SO high, that there is almost no correlation between the number of hours spent studying and the mark.
Here's a head on a stick.

No comments:
Post a Comment