warhammer 40k!

I envy Kenny Sia sometimes. He can make me laugh so hard. And I don't usually laugh when I'm alone. Because that's weird. Some of his posts are lame, crude and I dunno, strange. But sometimes he just has to photoshop a few pictures and it instantly becomes...lmao-able.

But today, being one day closer to the permanent temporary end of blogging, I decided to be completely unfunny. And post about everything. This post is going to take some time to complete. right now it's 2PM. I'll do bits and pieces here and there, hopefully by mid night, it'll be done.

First off,

I'm going to educate you.
The topic?

Warhammer 40000!

Jackson introduced me to it back in '06. If you have no idea what warhammer 40000 is, just picture Dungeons and Dragons, but more science fiction like than fantasy like. There are 9 - 11 main races in this universe.

Imperium of Man
Is, obviously, mankind's future government. Picture a pre-renaissance era western world. Everything is war and control. Instead of kneeling to Gods, mankind serves their immortal Emperor. The Emperor was once a man, who became legendary by defending and uniting mankind under one banner. One of his generals, Horus, betrayed him and broke apart from the Imperium, forming Chaos. The Emperor 'died'. But his tomb is keeping his mind and will alive. Now and then, he sends psychic messages to his followers.


Now, in the Imperium of man, there are 4 main armies/factions The Space Marines, The Imperial Guard, The Sisters of Battle, and The Inquisition.

The Space Marines are essentially sons of the emperor. When the Emperor was creating his army, he took 17 of his geneseeds(genetic code meant to make a human into a super human) and created clones of himself. These clones were dropped into different planets and left to survive alone. Each clone that survived grew up and were made "chapter masters". Each "chapter" of space marines has it's unique identity, with different tactics, banners, colours, skills. But they all serve the emperor. Each chapter has 1000 gene-seeds. These gene- seeds make each space marines superhuman. They have 2-3 hearts, enlarged lungs and grow up to 8 feet tall. Basically, space marines are elite troops meant to do nothing but kill. They carry both powered melee weapons(chainsaws, powered swords, electrically charged warhammers) and ranged weapons(super heated plasma rifles, Bolter guns, flame throwers). Every time a space marine dies, his gene seed needs to be extracted and implanted into a new recruit, therefore maintaining the 1000 space marines per chapter rule. If the gene seed is lost, it takes hundreds of years to regrow.



A spacemarine of Ultramarines chapter





The Imperial Guard are World War One inspired futuristic soldiers. They wear nothing but flak jackets, army uniforms and helmets. Fire cheap laser guns. And have little morale and training. But they number in the billions. And they have access to unstoppable gigantic vehicles and tanks. They form the bulk of the imperial army and are usually meant to defend planets when the Space Marines are crusading.



imperial guardsmen defending a city



imperial guard tank





The Sisters of Battle are essentially, nuns with flame throwers. They do not genetically modify themselves as space marines do, but are nearly incorruptible and strict. They make sure heretics burn.



a sister of battle





The Inquisition is like the secret service/FBI. They investigate heresy, and make sure space marines and the rest of the imperium don't become traitors.



A couple of inquisitors




Chaos is mankind's sworn enemy. When General Horus betrayed The emperor, he took 9 of the 17 chapters with him. They began worshiping demons and traveling through warp storms to become more demonic. Therefore, Chaos Marines have similar weapons, armor to space marines, but are less human, less strong because of their taint. But they are compensated with unlimited powers of the 'dark side'. It's cool how demons are incorporated into a science fiction universe by saying that black holes and warps are actually ways in and out of hell.



A Chaos Space Marine





Orks. Remember Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Orcs? these are a little different. They are space Orks. Spelt with a 'k' instead of a 'c'. They're actually fungus after 40000 years of evolution. Green, slimy and brainless. But all they want to do is wage war. They can speak a little, but their technology is crude and stolen.


An Ork



The Eldar are Elves in the distant future. They are fighting for the survival of their dying race. Their technology is incorporated with magic. Therefore the Imperium of man has labeled them witches.

An Eldar Farseer




Tyranids. Are scary aliens that are highly intelligent but completely unreasonable. They kill everything. They evolve by absorbing another races genes. So a tyranid that steals a humans gene will have the eyes, nose, mouth of a human, but stretched out into the shape of an alien. Really creepy things.

Tyranid...creepy


Dark Eldar are just evil elves in the future.


Dark Eldar Unit.




The Tau, are the most technologically advanced race. They fight for the greater good. They wish to unite the universe under the Tau banner, and destroy all things evil. So instead of killing everything, they first ask if they wish to join. This is how fast they advance: the tau race is less than 3000 years old, which is young compared to the 40000 year old human race and the ageless Eldar. 3000 years ago, the Tau race lived in mud huts and were caveman like. At present, they have technology that puts all other races to shame. They are a extremely physically weak race. They rely on technology and strength of mind to deal with the enemy.


A Tau Fire Warrior Suit. How advanced.





The necrons are creepier than tyranids. A few thousand years ago, there was a densely populated colony of people living on a planet. The local Sun there was going to explode and kill everything. Out of desperation, the people there sold their souls to a demon, in return they would receive eternal life. So, the demon encased their souls into metal shells. Now they are robot zombies. Unkillable, and unstoppable. Every now and then, they appear out of nowhere and devour planets.



Scary Necron Warriors

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