Let me summarize my night.
While chatting with Eu Chuan this cockroach creeps near my chair. I hate cockroaches.
So I grabbed some ridsect spray and sprayed the shite outta it. Then I sat on the chair and watched it. I wanted to see if there was empathy left in me. Turns out there still is.
Even though it was just a roach, it disgusted me that people like me poison them. And that would be just a little bit better if it wasn't a slow and excruciating death. Me watching that roach die wasn't some test or some show of bravado. It was my punishment. It's like asking Najib to go collect the body parts of Altantuya(or however you spell that). Because I killed that roach and abused my power. And so watching it suffer and knowing that I was the cause for all that pain was sicker than you'd think.
That wasn't my entire night though. I went to sleep 10 minutes later. I was completely disgusted with myself and I was in a mess. So I messaged a few people weird messages and went to sleep. And I was supposed to let Hannibal download, because I never got to watch that movie.
Everyday in Sitiawan I'd have a dream. Every single day. And I'm not stretching the truth here. Everyday. And dreams, as you know can seem to last forever but in real life only be a minute long. Sometime much less. Like back home, there was this epic dream where I was capturing Helm's Deep with the Lord of The Rings characters when suddenlt there was this annoying ringing sound. BEEP BEEP BEEP. And I looked around to see Faramir pressing the doorbell of Helms Deep while everywhere around him people were fighting. I pushed him outta the way to stop the noise. But it was still going on.
I used my weapon and began smashing the shit out of the doorbell, but even with just a few wires left it was still going on. I suddenly woke up and realized my alarm clock was ringing.
And the dream seemed to have lasted at least 10 minutes. But the clock only read 1 minute past the time it had began to ring. See? And this happens a lot.
1 hour in the dream world can take anywhere between 1 second and 3 minutes. Because it's all in your mind. Sometimes and ENTIRE dream, from beginning to ending flashes past you the instant you wake up. That's what happened to me.
So I went to sleep God knows what time. And I slept and I don't know what I dreamt of. But it was slow and hazy. All of a sudden I have a nightmare. It's vivid and I cannot remember what it was about, but it was the scariest nightmare ever. And it was triggered off by the LOUDEST boom of thunder. You cannot begin to imagine how scary that is. To be in a nice slow dream and suddenly have every scary image flood through your mind and wake up to the walls shaking with enourmous thunder.
It wasn't the rolling kind of thunder. It was loud and long. Like BANGGG and the whole house shakes for 5 seconds. That kind. Plus the windows are open(but there's mosquito netting).
I just lay there for a full minute to afraid to move. Then I hear my grandma come out of her room. At that point I only hoped it was my grandma and not some creature from my nightmare. I feign sleep immediately, just in case it was some monster.
It was my grandmother. Phew.
I had no choice but to ask if I could sleep in her room. Don't laugh. You cannot imagine how scared I was wei.
Even as I gathered my pillows and stuff, I suddenly remembered Patrick Bateman, and Mason Verger.
Dont click unless you aren't afraid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_Verger
yeah. that image haunted me the rest of the night.
because I don't believe in ghosts or demons or spirits. I mean, if I saw one, at least I'd be able to tell myself 'this isn't happening'.
But Patrick Bateman and Mason Verger are very possible characters.
I dont know if i should continue to download Hannibal now. Mason Verger will be there.
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