BLOODY STOOL!

I am attention seeking.
I bet that title got your attention.
You will read on to find out what bloody stool has to do with this post.

I just realised something today.
I can't get angry anymore.
I've been trying.
People say if you hold in your anger, eventually you will explode(jackson said that)(hehe)
(jackson pls dont kill me)
But lately, I've been looking for something to be really angry at.
Well it found me.
While I was sitting there fuming, thinking of all the ways and things to say that would hurt the person who made me 'angry', I suddenly stopped, and wondered; is this anger?

I really felt weird because I know how anger feels, and I felt the same rage I feel when I get angry.
I just stopped and thought, this is bloody lame. Here I am, being discontent and dissatisfied with everything, when I'm not even thinking! Everything happens for a reason. Not in a karmic or 'destiny' sort of context, but in a more direct sense of the word reason. When I didn't get what I wanted, it was for good reason. A lot of things that got me angry, I now realise, was for good reason. Not a reason that's good for me, but a reason that was valid enough to not be completely illogical. Does that make sense? I dunno. It does to me. But this also means I cannot be genuinely happy anymore! I always used to think of something that no one would expect to be done or said in a situation. But the laughter of others just doesn't bear the fruits that I once valued. It's just getting really tiring to be thinking so much. To find reason, to find excuse, to find some answer that maybe everyone else overlooked. I'm just a kid who's going to sit for SPM, get unfantastic results, be given the 'wow, that's some nice results, congradulations!' look even though they all think this kid didn't do it right, then get into some fancy local U that'll suck my parents' wallets dry, then if I'm lucky, end in 2012. Otherwise, I'll end up in forced out of this rebellious "kill the system" phase that I'm told every teen goes through, then forced into the system. Then I'll die, and my children will mourn, and their children after that will mourn, and then become a memory. And finally dissolve, leaving every bit of lameness I have to offer in my blogs(cyberspace forever baby)(Succkers! Bloody Stool meant nothing!) In conclusion, I hate not being to be angry anymore. Please make me angry, I'll like me when I'm angry.

P.s I am not emo. I'm just not angry(or happy)
P.s.s. Emo=dead.
P.s.s.s Anger is the new Emo